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September 15, 2003
Vol. III, No. 27

"Music: It's in the Holes"
Holes are funny things. The comedian Chevy Chase said "A flute with no holes is not a flute, and a doughnut with no hole is a Danish."
(This page had enough good jokes among the quotes that I added it to the Musician Jokes page.) By the way, who decided that the dough that is cut out of the center of the doughnut and deep-fried should be called a Doughnut Hole? That just doesn't make sense. It's what came out of the hole! What does appear to make sense is when performance artist Laurie Anderson says, "It's not the bullet that kills you it's the hole.
But, in fact, it appears that holes are generally misunderstood and, as we perceive them, may not even exist. For the whole story on holes, visit the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy.
The following news item has "joke" written all over it. Too bad my brain isn't working better today.
"Black Hole Hums Deepest Note Ever Detected"
It turns out it's a B-flat 57 octaves below middle C. To the builders reading this, it would take a pipe approximately 1,152,921,504,606,850,000 or 1.2 quintillion feet long to produce that sound on a pipe organ. What would you suggest, metal or wood?

I suspect that these scientists know more than they are saying. Why B-flat? Why not A-sharp? This leads to the question, "So what key is the universe in?" We could assume that it's in B-flat but some day scientists may detect an even lower note. Then again, the lowest note wouldn't necessarily have to be the tonic. How do we know the B-flat/A-sharp isn't a giant leading tone? It would explain an awful lot about the mess the world is in if it turned out that we've been sitting on an unresolved dominant chord for billions of years.

While it might be tempting to ponder the pleasantries of a V-I resolution on such a massive scale, it might also be wise to consider that, if the universe did start with a big bang, we might not appreciate the mother of all cadences if it's marked with a Da capo!
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Updated Pages
Articles Library page
Added are the Black Hole article from above and the Trinity Church organ article from last week's Rampage.

Musician Jokes page
A few new items have been added.

Have a great week!

Dan Long

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